I Quit Smoking - Day 10

Well, I'm now ten days into my non-smoking journey. It has had it's ups and downs, that's for certain. I still don't know if I'm ready to do this. Everyone says that you really have to want to quit in order for it to work. I guess I'm not really sure that I do want to quit. These are 2 things that I know for sure:

1. I have been feeling much better since I quit.
2. It has become very expensive to be a smoker.

On the other hand...
1. I really enjoy smoking.

Hmmm...yep, that's all I've got. There are numerous other reasons why I should continue quitting besides the two I have mentioned. Those are just the top 2 for me. However, the one reason to smoke, is the only reason I can think of.

I have taken 4 drags of other people's cigarettes since I have quit. The first 3 were off the same cigarette. I tricked one of my friends to give me a couple (he didn't know I've been trying to quit). It actually gave me such a buzz that I felt sick. It really didn't taste good at all. It kind of grossed me out actually. But it felt sooo good!
That's what's so terrible about these things! There is nothing good about them! They smell gross, they taste gross, they make you feel gross, they make your insides look gross, they make your bank account look gross, they make other people think you're gross, and the list goes on and on... But...they make me comfortable. And it feels terribly uncomfortable to not have them in my life anymore.

I'm very thankful that the nicotine patches work as well as they do. I'm dealing with enough of an emotional termoil right now, I don't need the physical habit to contend with as well. I can deal with that part 7 weeks from now when I'm suppose to stop using the patch. Hopefully, my emotions will be more in check at that time. Only time will tell. In the meantime, here's a funny little cartoon from the Toothpaste for Dinner website:

I Quit Smoking - Day Two

So it's day number two of my new title - "Non Smoker". 85-90% of the time I'm doing pretty well. Pretty well, indeed. The time that makes up the remaining 10-15% is pretty wicked.

I feel like I'm being annoying, because it seems like I can't stop talking about it. I originally said that I wasn't going to tell a lot of people. This was to avoid them all asking me how I'm doing every 5 minutes. Well, it was one of the first things that I have told anyone that I've seen since I started quitting. And then, they wouldn't have to ask me how I'm doing, because I give regular updates to everyone I'm around. Maybe I'm exaggerating, it's probably not that bad. It's definitely always on my mind though.

I went to the Nicoderm CQ website to see what kind of "helpful hints" they could provide. One of the pages is focused on 'trigger detectors'. These are things that have become an integral part of my smoking habit. The times that have nothing to do with the amount of nicotine in my system, just the fact that I always smoke during these particular times. There are 27 triggers listed on this website, and my habits revolved around 22 of them. Holy crap! What have I gotten myself into? Yikes...

I Quit Smoking - Day One

I have decided to quit smoking today. I made the decision to do this about 3 days ago. I have been sick with a cold for almost 2 months, and I can't stand it anymore. I'm hoping that quitting will help both my short term illness, and my long term health. I'm 26 years old and I've been a smoker for at least 12 years. I have smoked for longer than that, but it became more of a permanent structure in my life when I was 14. I figure that 12 years is long enough, and I am finished with cigarettes having control over me. I've had it.

So today I woke up, smoked my last cigarette, (I had one left over from yesterday and couldn't see throwing it away. Especially since I knew that it wouldn't take long before I'd dig it out of the garbage anyway. I know, disgusting.) and then I ate some breakfast, took a shower and applied a nicotine patch to my lower back.

For me, the patches are amazing. I tried them once before and they worked really well. I know what you're thinking... "If they worked so well, why are you using them again?" They should have taken care of the problem then, right? Well, I wasn't totally ready to quit then, and stopped using the patches too early. Once I did that, I was an instant failure and went straight back to my half a pack a day habit.

I really want to do it this time. So I'm hoping that posting to this blog will help me along with the patch and any other resources I might stumble across. So wish me luck! It'll be a long road ahead.